Chained To You
by flawsinscience
Summary: Comedy starring various Holby City characters, co written by Kate Sherrard
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long and extremely tiresome day for Michael, saving two patients and losing another three. He'd barely stopped to breathe, never mind contemplating the morals of his life. Slamming the blonde oak wood door he felt a satisfactory release of anger flooding through its woody centre. Striding forcefully over to the desk he hurled himself into the chair with frustrated gusto. Closing his eyes in attempt at making the day disappear his disappointment was evident; he ignored the pile of files sat on his desk and took the short trip to pour himself a whisky.

_They had been sharing an amusing communal lunch hour together, lost between operations and lack of needy patients. Entertainment today had taken an odd form. _

"_I wonder what that does" Diane giggled, lifting a suspect looking dildo from the black velvet bag. _

"_Oh come on Diane, you're not that innocent," Connie smirked lightly, the fact she knew the reasoning for most of the items in front of them. _

"_This does look intriguing," Ric stammered through profuse giggling, lifting up something of the pink fluffy metal variety, "now where have I seen these before," he smiled before catching Lola's furious gaze. Dropping his head he placed the item back on the table_

"_These may come in useful," Zubin quipped lifting up a rather more mechanical object from the table, switching the motor on and reeling at the shock of its petulant flicking sensation. _

"_And why would you need that," Ric retorted defensively. _

"_No reason," Zubin smiled in return. _

"_This really isn't a good idea," Mickie sighed, leaning back into the sofa. _

"_Come on Miss Hendrie, the patient shouldn't have had these it was a health risk," Connie protested watching something vibrate across the coffee table, nearly knocking over a mug of scalding coffee._

"_Careful Mrs B," Chrissie retorted coldly._

"_Not enjoying this are we?" Connie smirked, " I thought you of all people would be most apt at the art of, um using these," the uproar of laughter from the room backed up her queen of the pack status. _

"_Actually I find I don't need to use these objects," Chrissie protested, "and, for that matter, neither does your husband," _

"_Pardon?" Connie replied stonily, taking the look of death to another level._

"_Children, children please," Ric called out as Donna grasped another item from the bag, producing a set bindings and a whip. _

"_Now that I do like the look of," Chrissie smiled, relaxing into a more familiar element. _

"_I really, really, don't want to know," Connie said sharply_

"_Oh I do," Donna said mid lash of the whip, the yelp of pain as it came crashing down on Zubin thigh ringing out. "Ooops sorry prof," she smirked, instinctively rubbing the affected area. _

"_It's… Ok…. Donna," Zubin squeaked._

"_I'm always curious at to what they use these things for," Donna continued, lying the offending article down on the table._

"_You haven't…." Chrissie teased, mocking a distasteful look on her face._

"_What, I'm only young," Donna protested._

"_And showing it," Connie smiled, "truth or dare" _

"_Oh. Dear. God," Ric groaned _

"_This could prove interesting" Zubin smirked, "and stone cold sober" he added rubbing his hands intently. _

"_You first then Connie, truth or dare," Chrissie pronounced, watching her boss' intent face squirm in protest. _

"_Dare," Connie sighed eventually, glancing round the group, attempting to read their minds._

_After a momentary pause and mild conferring Chrissie stuck a plastic smile on her face and picked up one of the 'toys' "Now I know who'd enjoy this" she stated with a mischievous smirk_

Returning to his desk Michael relaxed back into his chair, gazing into the amber liquid with ferocious intensity, as the last drop hit his lips he manoeuvred back round to his desk, examining its rather odd appearance, the files were stacked as usual, parted slightly in the middle, concealing an oddly shaped shadow behind. Reaching to pick it up he almost dropped it with disgust as he felt the soft rubber and plastic combination. "WHAT THE HELL" were his first words, then followed by brisk walk to the nurses station demanding all staff be gathered in the staff room as soon as was possible.

Lined up like children in front of the headmaster Diane, Ric, Connie, Chrissie, Zubin, Donna, Mickie and various other staff members were doing their utmost to conceal their guilt through nervous chatter as Michael paced the floor waiting for the stragglers to appear.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it, it would appear that, this item was maliciously placed in my office at some point during the day," Michael stammered, bashfully holding up the item to the bemusement of various staff members unaware of the folly of activity earlier in the day.

"It's only a vibrator" Connie smirked, enjoying the whole scenario more than he clearly was.

"It's the insinuation that accompanies it that I am most aggrieved at," Michael continued, "no one and I mean no one leaves this room until someone has claimed responsibility for this".

"You know, sweetheart, it sort of reminds me of someone" Connie glanced towards his crotch with mock innocence and Chrissie stifled a snigger of agreement

"Connie, that is entirely inappropriate," Michael spat spotting Chrissie mocking amusement in the corner of his eye.

"Mr Beauchamp you can't do that, there are a thousand and one people in this place, you can't just load the blame on us," Donna protested glancing dirty looks at the guilty group surrounding her.

"Okay Nurse Jackson, as I suspect someone from this shift is responsible, the rest of you can clear off," Watching as the rest of the group shuffled out of the room he was left with the all to familiar faces in front of him.

"We didn't do it" Donna protested indignantly 'you can't prove anything... not that we did it' she added with an air of belligerence that Michael merely laughed at

"I think you've just proven your own guilt Miss Jackson. As for the rest of you I… well I'm disappointed that we've been reduced to such infantile behavior,"

"I never knew infants knew how to use those," Ric added with a wicked smile

"Mr. Griffin, this is hardly the point" Michael snapped irritably as various people sniggered at his anger

"It's what's known as a joke Michael. Its customary to laugh," Zubin jumped in, proving the best at concealing his own amusement while several other members of staff howled with laughter.

"Michael, laugh come off it," Connie added, sending her husband even further into his self-dug hole.

'This behavior cannot continue' Michael stated firmly as several people continued to ignore him.

"So what do you suggest, oh mature one" Connie snorted quietly and made another suggestive gesture in the direction of his crotch that made Chrissie laugh and Michael blush

"That you all get sent on a sex education refresher course as you all seem to be incompetent and unprofessional people, intent on behaving like a bunch of teenagers, and I will, I repeat WILL get to the bottom of this whole fiasco" Michael sighed.

"I think you already have reached the bottom, boss," Diane told him smugly, wavering her gaze towards his retreating backside.

"Just one question Sir," Connie asked as he was about to slam the door, "will you be accompanying us as teacher and great master"

"No" Michael's voices wafted back as the door slammed behind him, separating him from his laughing colleagues


	2. Chapter 2

'I didn't think he was serious' Connie murmured the next morning as she examined the notice pinned on the board with dissatisfaction 'I mean its ridiculous. A two day residential course on sexual education – surely the trust has better things to spend it's money on'

'Oh come on' Chrissie appeared behind her, a smile spreading across her face as she examined the details of the hotel where they were to spend their weekend 'you never know Connie you might enjoy yourself. Especially since his Lordship isn't going to be accompanying us'

'Small mercies I suppose' Connie agreed, privately entertaining the image of her husbands expression when faced with a bag full of sex toys the previous day and more amusingly, the idea of his attending the course that he was inflicting upon the rest of the staff.

'Ooh, weekend away' Ric hovered over the women's shoulders, eyeing the poster with a broad grin spreading across his face as Connie took on a wary expression.

'Whatever you're thinking Griffin, don't' she cautioned without a lot of conviction as she stepped away from the board, allowing Donna and Mickie a decent view of the notice that they'd spent the past five minutes trying to see.

'Weekend away Micks' Donna crowed gleefully as Mickie began to nervously chuckle, not quite as overjoyed at the idea of a sex ed course as her friend was 'Minibar!' she added with a cheer and collapsed laughing onto one of the lumpy sofas, holding forth to Mickie about precisely what she intended to pack on her holiday.

'Ah, ladies and gentlemen' Michael's voice boomed across the staff room as several people turned to see their boss wearing an expression of smug satisfaction 'As you will have seen, I managed to book that course for you at short notice. Now, I think its worth pointing out that this is a course aimed at educating you about the issues and morals surrounding sex. It is not, I repeat, not, designed to allow any of you to improve your prowess in bed'

'Don't think that will be necessary, mate' Donna winked suggestively at him and got glared at by both Connie and Chrissie as Michael cleared his throat nervously.

'Shame, I can think of certain people who would benefit from attending such a course' Chrissie remarked to Connie who merely shrugged but made no effort to defend her husband's dignity in front of the gathered crowd. It was far more fun to watch him squirm.

'A minibus will take you to the course. Meet at the hospital…' he paused for effect at this point, a malicious smile spreading across his features '5am, Saturday morning. No one be late' he finished and then turned on his heel, storming from the room leaving a cacophony of groans in his wake.

'Its too bloody early' Connie complained for the fifth time as she boarded the minibus, shivering lightly despite fact that the heating was turned up to the top setting.

'Sssh' Chrissie murmured from her place, fast asleep in the window seat beside the only remaining seat on the coach.

'Ric, swap' Connie wheedled, eyeing up Ric's place beside Zubin who was reading the Times, eating a croissant and being all together too cheerful for such an hour of the morning.

'Not a chance. You arrive late, you can sit next to sleeping beauty' Ric shrugged, disappearing back behind his tabloid with a smug grin.

'Mickie, Donna, will one of you kindly take the front seat' Connie commanded but both girls were plugged into MP3 players and ignored her 'fine! I'll sit here' Connie snapped, firing death looks at everyone else on the bus before sitting beside Chrissie, being careful to give her a sharp dig in the ribs as she settled herself in.

'Ow' Chrissie awoke with a start as Connie attempted to cross her legs and 'accidentally' kicked her shin.

'Sorry' Connie gave a saccharine smile and Ric snorted with laughter, his paper held in hands trembling with mirth.

'Be careful. I was asleep' Chrissie moaned, glancing with out of the window as their driver emerged from the hospital decked in a tight t-shirt emblazoned with the name of an obscure rock band, baggy jeans and a parka that was about three sizes too large for him.

'Hello campers' Reg smiled at his passengers who greeted him with a mixture of stunned, miserable and just plain exhausted expressions.

'Oh dear God' Connie muttered under her breath as Chrissie opened her eyes and winced immediately at the sight of him.

'You mean they let him have a driving licence?' Zubin muttered to Ric who shrugged his response.

'Nobody minds if I put a little music on, do they?' Reg enquired as his passengers lost the will to live.

'Are we there yet?' Donna's voice rang through the bus for the third time in as many minutes and Connie turned to her with her eyes blazing, her nerves frazzled by exhaustion, stress and Reg's music.

'No Donna, we are not there, wherever that may be. When we are there the bus will stop and people will start to get off – it's a bit of a visual clue you see. Kindly stop asking' she snapped as several people winced and Chrissie disappeared further into her baggy jacket.

'I need the toilet' Donna continued as Connie rolled her eyes in exasperation and began to mutter abuse beneath her breath.

'I could pull over on the hard shoulder and cover you with…'

'That won't be necessary Reg' Connie cut in quickly as Mickie and Donna dissolved into giggles at his suggestion 'just keep driving. The sooner we're there, the sooner we're away from your music' she added, the need to be polite temporarily deserting her as several people sniggered.

'Do you know where he's sending us?' Chrissie asked as they turned off the A12 and made fast progress beyond Chelmsford and into the heart of Essex.

'No idea. Smug git wouldn't say anything except that it would teach us a lesson' Connie's lip curled with distaste and a veil of fear settled over the assembled passengers at what their boss had managed to arrange for them.

'We're here' Reg announced, pulling up outside a large stone building that didn't look like it had seen builders or decorators in the last three centuries.

'You must be joking' Connie murmured, taking in the sight before her and stifling a groan 'I'm going to kill him'

'I think its pretty' Mickie suggested lamely as they began to alight the coach and make their way into the lobby

'Its bloody derelict' Connie declared to a chorus of agreement from her colleagues displaying various manifestations of shock and disappointment.

'It's a converted monastery' Ric remarked, brandishing a booklet detailing the history of the building in which they stood 'rented out as a conference centre, renowned for its period features'

'They have rules' Connie stated with horror, reading down the list 'No drinking, no smoking, no sexual relations and no swearing'

'So Donna had better just sit in the corner and do nothing then' Mickie suggested in a vain attempt to lighten the atmosphere that had fallen over the crowd.

'I'm going to bloody kill him' Connie roared

'Swearing Connie – rule number four' Zubin intoned and received a steely glare for his trouble

'Will someone say something constructive' Ric pleaded as they all stood staring at each other and hyperventilating quietly

'I suppose there's no minibar'


	3. Chapter 3

The group stood in shocked silence in the entranceway to the building, its grand interior no more, putrid green walls met with equally sour green wallpaper above the dado, the fluorescent lights finished the entire dated, 80's Ming look perfectly. "Is anyone getting disturbing images of school trips," Chrissie groaned, wheeling her case across the damp moth eaten floor.

"Yes, scout camp never amused me," Zubin sighed, plonking his bag on the ground coughing at the cloud of dust surrounding it.

"I never took you to be the type Zoob, at least you'll be able to navigate the way to the nearest bar," Connie muttered in disgust.

"There is no alcohol outlet within a twenty mile radius of here," came a creepy voice from behind, as he pushed his way forward his weedy, drab appearance. "And absolutely no drinking on the grounds, this used to be a holy site, I would ask that you respect this please." Connie stifled a snigger as he paused, beginning to ascend the dust staircase. "If you'd like to follow me I'll show you to your rooms. Now we've taken the liberty of allocating rooms… Constance and Christine?" as the rest of the group fell into giggles they two woman stepped forward, sending death looks at the housekeeper.

"Ah right ladies you'll be in here," as he motioned to the door Connie made her way forcefully into the room, stopping abruptly as she took in its contents.

"I think you've made a mistake this has only one double bed," she commented tensely as the rest of the group still stood muddled in the corridor.

"It was a booking for six, Mr Beauchamp said it would be ok for yourself and Miss Williams to share, I'm afraid if that is not the case we have a tent that one of you may use." Connie turned back to Chrissie, attempting to dissolve her anger.

"No I think we'd both prefer a solid roof over us, I'm sure we will find a way somehow" Connie sighed, about turning and leaving the rest of them to it. 

"Do you want to kill him or shall I," Chrissie asked as she put her case onto the once grand four poster bed, watching Connie from the corner of her eye.

"Oh I think he will die his own painful death from a certain evil breed of frustration," Connie winked, attempting to open the large window wide enough to stick her head out for a cigarette.

"Didn't know you smoked," 

"I don't normally, do you want one," she asked offer her nemesis the packet.

"No thank you, I don't and won't ever smoke, just make sure you stick your head far enough out of the window. I don't want this room stinking,"

"Yes" Connie retorted sharply, leaning down the wall slightly, dragging once on the cigarette before sticking her head out the window to exhale.

"Fancy seeing you here," came Ric's voice from the next window causing Connie to jump lightly.

"Ric please don't do that to me," she yelped in protest, recomposing herself.

"Well it looks like Eric and Constance are literally being hung out to dry," he chuckled, straining further so she could see him.

"This really is pathetic,"

"What hanging out the window in order to indulge in a life shortening habit, for fear of being driven out of these lovely surroundings by Mr drab of the year, pathetic….nah" Ric smirked, "lets ditch the rest, these grounds to look rather interesting. Our teacher has yet to arrive."

"Good point," Connie smiled in return before disappearing out of sight. "Chrissie I'm off out, if that stupid woman turns up tell her I'm truanting."

"You're prerogative," Chrissie muttered, leaving Connie to exit the room and accompany Ric down the stairs and out of the building.

'Ladies and Gentlemen' Archie shuffled into the room to greet the group of very irate medics who had been waiting for the arrival of their course leader for almost three hours. Now, the unfortunate task of telling them that in fact, their tutor wouldn't be coming until the next morning had fallen to him and it was an exchange that he doubted he would get out of alive. 

'What is it now?' Connie was on her feet, arms folded across her chest and a look of utter displeasure on her face as Archie stumbled over his words, fearing her reaction.

'I'm afraid during to… unforeseen circumstances…' he paused following the lie – Delilah had simply not wanted to brave the traffic to drive to the Monastery and so had announced that she wouldn't be coming until the traffic had abated, but he thought that this would not be well received, particularly by Connie who appeared to have elected her self as group ringleader 'Delilah will not be with us until tomorrow morning. You will of course be recompensed for the inconvenience but feel free to enjoy the facilities for today and a short course will take place tomorrow'

'That's fine' Connie's voice was clipped and she was clearly extremely irritated with the situation in general and, apparently, him in particular 'one small point – there are no facilities'

'There's the rose garden, the prayer room…' he trailed off as she rolled her eyes and several others sniggered in the background. It was days like today that made him hanker after his old career working as a bin man.

'Thank you very much, Archie. I'm sure we'll find a way to entertain ourselves for tonight, thanks for letting us know' Ric was on his feet, driving Connie back before she completely lost her temper and taking control of the situation before it descended into an argument. For a moment, Connie opened her mouth, as if to continue the inevitable row, but she was stopped by Zubin placing a hand on her shoulder and steering her from the room.

'Look on the bright side' Chrissie's voice trilled unexpectedly as they walked from the room towards the sparse surroundings of the rest of the building, not filled with great hope for the rest of the evening.

'There's a bright side?' Connie raised an eyebrow suspiciously at her roommate but Chrissie's smile didn't falter for a moment.

'We may be stuck in an outpost of nowhere but at least we aren't being forced to discuss contraception'

The rose garden was, as he expected, all but deserted. His travelling companions were not people who appreciated nature and its finer points but he was slightly different – if money were no object, and his gambling had seen to it that it always would be, then he would have liked to give up his career altogether and spend his later days out of doors as he had spent much of his childhood. While that was nothing more than a pipe dream, a couple of hours in the rose garden of a monastery were the best he could manage.

A torrent of abuse made him spin around, searching for someone else in the rose garden but there seemed to be no sign of anyone else in the vicinity. It seemed that he was hearing things because he was almost certain that there was no one else in this garden.

'Bugger' a single word spoken in rage and he turned again, moving slowly into the miniature maze, following his nose and the faint scent of menthol cigarettes and expensive perfume. He had been right – there was another person with him in the garden.

'Connie?' he poked his head around a wall in the maze and she glanced up in surprise, a small smile creeping across her features as she spotted him.

'Ric… I don't suppose you have any cigarettes? I've run out and I can't see me being able to get another packet in this god forsaken outpost…'

'I have something that you could smoke…' he stated carefully and her smile grew as he removed a small tobacco tin, deftly rolling a joint and lighting it without saying another word.

'Fantastic' she exhaled as the drug hit her system and she felt herself relax against the thick foliage of the maze, passing the joint back to him.

'Usually hits she spot…' he laughed quietly and for several moments they didn't speak, instead all their attention focussed on the joint smouldering between his fingers

'Ric did I ever tell you that I love you?' she laughed as the joint was reduced to nothing but embers and they were left with only the warm glow that the cannabis had given them.

'I thought you were stoned, not drunk' he teased good naturedly as he put an arm around her to protect her from the chill in the air. As a gesture it was a risk but a necessary one in light of the drop in temperature and the fact that she was wearing nothing but a t-shirt in the middle of November.

'No really – you're the only man I've come across who doesn't have a go at me about my occasional taste for cannabis. Michael regards it in much the same light as I regard his continued affairs' she stated with forced lightness in her voice

'We all have our faults' he remarked noncommittally 'but that doesn't really warrant a confession of undying love, does it?'

'You're the best in bed by quite some way' she offered with a slightly drunken giggle that made him immediately suspicious

'Where did you find the alcohol?' he glanced down at her with a single eyebrow raised and she rolled her eyes with irritation at him discovering her secret.

'Zubin smuggled in a bottle of Scotch' she admitted with a flush in her cheeks that was not entirely owing to the large amount of whiskey that she had consumed earlier in the evening.

'Why didn't you say so' a broad grin spread across his face as he took her hand and started to lead her into the monastery and Zubin's alcohol stash

'All the more for me'


	4. Chapter 4

5.30 am. More than long enough for them to have in bed, he thought to himself with a malicious smirk as he climbed from his hard bed and padded slowly across the cold stone floor of his room, pulling on his threadbare dressing-gown before moving out into the hall and into the kitchen where he switched on the kettle, dropping six herbal teabags into six slightly grubby cups. They'd be needing all the sustenance they could get once the slightly hyperactive Delilah got her hands on them but first he had to get them up. Moving more briskly now he opened a small wooden door that rattled on its hinges and stepped into the confines of the bell tower, pulling down harshly on the rope and smiling as the bell tolled throughout the monastery.

She was having a lovely dream. She was running along a beach with a light breeze surrounding her and the sea sweeping gently between her toes. Behind her she heard children laughing as they built a sandcastle, enjoying the last days of their holiday and in front of her was nothing but a vast expanse of sand and the beach bar where he sat, sipping a cocktail, smiling as he watched her make fast progress towards him. Then she was level with him, feeling his lips on hers and his arms around her, pulling her to him, seemingly oblivious to their young audience as he kissed her.

'Michael' she mumbled sleepily, pulling his invisible form closer to her as she rolled over but was surprised to feel resistance in the form of someone else being pulled on top of her 'Michael?' she repeated, her voice sharper this time as she opened her eyes and shut them again as the light bit into her brain and she remembered where she was. On top of her she was aware of movement but she didn't open her eyes again, fearing now what she had done while she was drunk and several hundred miles from her husband. One thing she was certain of was that it broke all of the rules laid down by her hosts.  
'Jesus' a roar of surprise travelled down the hall as the bell that woke her tolled for a second time, the noise making her brain feel as though it was rattling within her head 'bloody hell, its five thirty' the second shout was more worrying as she identified the voice and started to panic. If Ric was in a room further down the corridor then who on earth was lying on top of her? Not Zubin – she was certain that she hadn't been _that_ drunk. Which left Donna, Chrissie or Mickie. Feeling nausea rising within her she opened her eyes and gazed tentatively out at the sleeping form on the person lying on top of her.  
'Oh God' she whispered weakly, surprised to hear the clang of chains as she reached to push the person from on top of her.

'Good night was it?' Zubin had recovered his composure following his rude awakening and was lying on his back, his arms stretched high above his head as they often were when he awoke, surveying the person lying beside him with the smugness of one who wasn't hungover. The maelstrom of suffering occurring beside him was a small price to pay for drinking his entire bottle of vintage malt whiskey and he was determined to enjoy every moment of the other's suffering.  
'Shut up' the quilt beside him mumbled and a slight sadistic smile spread across Zubin's features. This particular case of the morning-after-the-night-before would only be made worse when he shared with his bedmate what had only been averted by Zubin taking the initiative and putting them both to bed. It would be an incredibly humiliating revelation for both parties and he could hardly wait to hear the groans.  
'I think that was our cue to get up' Zubin remarked, stepping from the bed but finding that something restrained him 'what the hell?'

'Donna?' Mickie opened her eyes blearily and glanced around her surroundings with surprise. Donna's idea of ordering a pizza and bribing the delivery boy to bring two bottles of wine had undoubtedly been ingenious but they hadn't been _that_ drunk. Certainly not drunk enough to pass out on the floor and never make it to bed, yet that seemed to be what had happened. Slowly she sat up, rubbing her shoulder where it had made painful contact with the cold stone floor for the several hours that she had been asleep. Glancing down at her wrist her confusion deepened and she glanced from the band of metal around her arm to the similar ring of metal attached to the radiator and began to panic. This wasn't right.  
'Calm down' a voice came from the bathroom and she turned to see a strangely familiar silhouette lying on the floor of the darkened bathroom, chained to a tap 'I know who's done this, I don't think he's going to hurt us'

'Are they awake?' Delilah trilled as she entered the kitchen and Archie winced. The woman drove him mad – she was clearly utterly insane and had an irritating tendency to sing everything that she said.  
'I think so' he shrugged, knowing that she would have heard their cries of surprise and outrage just as clearly as he had.  
'Right, give them a couple of hours to stew and we'll go up and put them out of their misery' she stated, pouring water onto a teabag and inhaling the aroma of artificial strawberries that filled the room.  
'Are you sure this is even legal?' he asked tensely, tapping his long thin fingers on the cracked stone work surface and ignoring his own cup of tea that had long since gone cold. When she'd arrived in the small hours complete with this ridiculous plan he had tried to talk her out of it but there was no stopping her. All he had been able to do was to attempt to curb the worst of her over enthusiasm and pray that nobody sued.  
'Of course – we're not hurting them, but I bet they won't find handcuffs so funny after this' On that point at least they were in perfect agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

5.30 am. More than long enough for them to have in bed, he thought to himself with a malicious smirk as he climbed from his hard bed and padded slowly across the cold stone floor of his room, pulling on his threadbare dressing-gown before moving out into the hall and into the kitchen where he switched on the kettle, dropping six herbal teabags into six slightly grubby cups. They'd be needing all the sustenance they could get once the slightly hyperactive Delilah got her hands on them but first he had to get them up. Moving more briskly now he opened a small wooden door that rattled on its hinges and stepped into the confines of the bell tower, pulling down harshly on the rope and smiling as the bell tolled throughout the monastery.

She was having a lovely dream. She was running along a beach with a light breeze surrounding her and the sea sweeping gently between her toes. Behind her she heard children laughing as they built a sandcastle, enjoying the last days of their holiday and in front of her was nothing but a vast expanse of sand and the beach bar where he sat, sipping a cocktail, smiling as he watched her make fast progress towards him. Then she was level with him, feeling his lips on hers and his arms around her, pulling her to him, seemingly oblivious to their young audience as he kissed her.

'Michael' she mumbled sleepily, pulling his invisible form closer to her as she rolled over but was surprised to feel resistance in the form of someone else being pulled on top of her 'Michael?' she repeated, her voice sharper this time as she opened her eyes and shut them again as the light bit into her brain and she remembered where she was. On top of her she was aware of movement but she didn't open her eyes again, fearing now what she had done while she was drunk and several hundred miles from her husband. One thing she was certain of was that it broke all of the rules laid down by her hosts.

'Jesus' a roar of surprise travelled down the hall as the bell that woke her tolled for a second time, the noise making her brain feel as though it was rattling within her head 'bloody hell, its five thirty' the second shout was more worrying as she identified the voice and started to panic. If Ric was in a room further down the corridor then who on earth was lying on top of her? Not Zubin – she was certain that she hadn't been I_that_/I drunk. Which left Donna, Chrissie or Mickie. Feeling nausea rising within her she opened her eyes and gazed tentatively out at the sleeping form on the person lying on top of her.

'Oh God' she whispered weakly, surprised to hear the clang of chains as she reached to push the person from on top of her.

'Good night was it?' Zubin had recovered his composure following his rude awakening and was lying on his back, his arms stretched high above his head as they often were when he awoke, surveying the person lying beside him with the smugness of one who wasn't hungover. The maelstrom of suffering occurring beside him was a small price to pay for drinking his entire bottle of vintage malt whiskey and he was determined to enjoy every moment of the other's suffering.

'Shut up' the quilt beside him mumbled and a slight sadistic smile spread across Zubin's features. This particular case of the morning-after-the-night-before would only be made worse when he shared with his bedmate what had only been averted by Zubin taking the initiative and putting them both to bed. It would be an incredibly humiliating revelation for both parties and he could hardly wait to hear the groans.

'I think that was our cue to get up' Zubin remarked, stepping from the bed but finding that something restrained him 'what the hell?'

'Donna?' Mickie opened her eyes blearily and glanced around her surroundings with surprise. Donna's idea of ordering a pizza and bribing the delivery boy to bring two bottles of wine had undoubtedly been ingenious but they hadn't been Ithat/I drunk. Certainly not drunk enough to pass out on the floor and never make it to bed, yet that seemed to be what had happened. Slowly she sat up, rubbing her shoulder where it had made painful contact with the cold stone floor for the several hours that she had been asleep. Glancing down at her wrist her confusion deepened and she glanced from the band of metal around her arm to the similar ring of metal attached to the radiator and began to panic. This wasn't right.

'Calm down' a voice came from the bathroom and she turned to see a strangely familiar silhouette lying on the floor of the darkened bathroom, chained to a tap 'I know who's done this, I don't think he's going to hurt us'

'Are they awake?' Delilah trilled as she entered the kitchen and Archie winced. The woman drove him mad – she was clearly utterly insane and had an irritating tendency to sing everything that she said.

'I think so' he shrugged, knowing that she would have heard their cries of surprise and outrage just as clearly as he had.

'Right, give them a couple of hours to stew and we'll go up and put them out of their misery' she stated, pouring water onto a teabag and inhaling the aroma of artificial strawberries that filled the room.

'Are you sure this is even legal?' he asked tensely, tapping his long thin fingers on the cracked stone work surface and ignoring his own cup of tea that had long since gone cold. When she'd arrived in the small hours complete with this ridiculous plan he had tried to talk her out of it but there was no stopping her. All he had been able to do was to attempt to curb the worst of her over enthusiasm and pray that nobody sued.

'Of course – we're not hurting them, but I bet they won't find handcuffs so funny after this' On that point at least they were in perfect agreement.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

"Will you stop fidgeting," Chrissie squealed as she was squished by Connie's hung over form rolling on the tough mattress.

"I'm not moving it's you," Connie retorted icily, shifting about uncomfortably.

"Urrrgh why you ever began this whole mess by confiscating those toys is beyond me," Chrissie huffed, squirming as much as she physically could.

"Oi," Connie moaned as he head got shifted in the process, its delicate state making itself clear.

"It's not my fault you got paralytic last night,"

"I wasn't that bad," Connie protested vehemently.

"Try telling Zubin that, he was the one kind enough to hunt you down and put you to bed," Chrissie scowled as fresh air from the open window scattered across her back.

"Donna what the hell is going on," Mickie whispered, leaning against the cold, damp radiator so as to get a better view of her mate sat on the disgusting bathroom floor.

"I have no idea but if it is that little creep I'm giving him a piece of my mind," Donna spat, blowing her fringe of her sticky face.

"You don't mean it," Mickie replied, attempting to quell her own fury at being woken up before dawn in such an uncompromising position.

"Yes I do, now where is that creep, ARCHIE!" Donnie yelled, sending a shiver throughout the rickety house in its wake.

"Jesus what was that," Ric groaned as he stirred back to the land of the living

"I'd suggest Donna," Zubin shrugged uneasily, "though to me it doesn't sound like a high pitched trill reverberating round painfully," he smirked nonchalantly

"Leave it out," Ric grumbled, attempting to move his arms to his throbbing temples, "What the hell,"

"I think our mate Archie's played a trick on us," Zubin told him gleefully, having been drawn into the idea of the games being played before them.

"You don't say. Urrrgh this is all I need, you didn't happen to have packed any aspirin," Ric asked hopefully, shifting his head slowly towards Zubin's.

"Not that I can reach," Zubin told him remorsefully, feigning the slight pitying feeling rising inside him.

"Great, so how long till we get untied, this is ridiculous, we're grown adults," Ric protested, slowly lifting his head to survey the rest of the room.

"Clearly our Chief Executive has other ideas, he's probably cooked this up with our astute housekeeper," Zubin retorted coolly.

"Hmmph, its pointless, we all know how to behave it's a matter of putting it into practice,"

"Difference of opinion there mate, I'm not the one with the eye on his wife,"

"Leave that out," Ric protested, "you and Jess are hardly couple of the year,"

"But I'm not sleeping with enemy,"

"She's hardly the enemy, she's intriguing and in need of some attention, she most certainly isn't the witch you make her out to be," Ric sighed

"You're under her spell," Zubin shook his head abruptly

"Excuse me," Ric retorted loudly, scaring himself with his tone, let alone the others down the corridor.

"Sounds like someone else has a sore head too," Chrissie smirked lightly.

"Just because we were trying to enjoy ourselves doesn't mean you get to revel in it now," Connie protested.

"Your problem, just one question how would Michael take to finding you like this next morning," Chrissie bit her lip before going any further.

"It depends on what I've been up to and what he's been up to!" Connie dismissed coolly.

"Meaning,"

"That if he's been with his bit on the side then he's got no leg to stand on,"

"And if you've been playing away," Chrissie asked tentatively

"I wouldn't be so stupid enough to turn up wasted, or not bother to cover it up," Connie shrugged, finding their close proximity to her advantage, intimidation at this level tripled the effect.

"So what you two discuss these, flings,"

"Naturally, whole point of the exercise, though I may say you weren't that highly ranked," Connie smiled contentedly, she'd been wandering round the wards for the past few weeks with the knowledge that Chrissie really hadn't been as good as she had made out to be.

"So why did he come back for second helpings then," Chrissie retorted, uneasy with Connie so close.

"Because he thought he'd go along with the game"

"Owen was a better bet, so come on is Michael top of your list then,"

"Hardly, he may pride himself on it but he's really not that accomplished," Connie smirked.

"So who is then," Chrissie asked sharply, curious to know.

"Ric," Connie said placidly, shrugging it off like asking about the weather. As they finished talking the door creaked open slightly revealing an oddly dressed woman, swishing her tie-dye headscarf round manically, tutting as she did so.

"See what a bit of bonding does for you," Delilah smiled keenly, " I'm your instructor for the weekend, sorry about the delay,"

"Can you get Archie to untie us then," Connie questioned irritably.

"It's my doing and I won't untie you both till you kiss and make up," Delilah yelped, moving over to close the window.

"No, no, no absolutely not," Chrissie squirmed, looking at Connie's glistening eye's.

"Oh yes you will, come on just a little kiss on the cheek will do," Delilah watched as they squirmed about in anxious protest before Connie sank her lips on Chrissie's cheek brushing for an instant. "See now it's really not that bad," the older woman told them smugly, undoing the handcuffs before swiftly leaving the room.


	7. Chapter 7

'Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen' Delilah's shrill voice echoed around the large hall, assaulting the various hungover brains assembled there.

'Kill me now' Ric murmured, a hand clapped to his head with pain, his skin taking on a greenish pallor.

'No' Connie corrected dully 'kill her, then Michael, then we'll think about killing you'

'You won't get anywhere in life with that attitude' Delilah admonished lightly as Zubin's hand travelled involuntarily to his mouth, stifling the laugh that threatened to escape.

'Which is of course why _I'm _the top heart surgeon in the country and _you're_ teaching sex education to a group of people who, to be perfectly honest, could probably teach you a thing or two'

'Well, I don't know about that' Delilah emitted a high-pitched laugh and glanced at the series of mutinous faces staring back at her nervously. They were clearly going to be harder to crack than she had anticipated and the handcuffs trick, her old failsafe, had only served to make the situation worse and turn six very irritated people to six people who were baying for blood.

'Can we get on with this? The sooner we start the sooner we can go home and I can murder my husband…' Connie snapped, rubbing the red ring on her wrist that the only sign remaining of her earlier incarceration.

'You must be Mrs Beauchamp. Your husband warned me about you…'

'Sadly he didn't think to warn me about you' Connie retorted sharply, catching sight of Zubin and Ric's shoulders shaking with silent mirth.

'Shall we begin?' Zubin asked eventually, the amusement still evident in his voice as Connie and Delilah turned to him, as if they had forgotten that there was anyone else in the room except the two of them.

'Yes, why don't we begin' Connie's voice dripped with sarcasm as she stood, strolling slowly past the table littered with various demonstration implements, a small smile playing across her face.

'Mrs Beauchamp, I'd appreciate it if…' Delilah began as Connie began to run her hand up and down the length of a large grey vibrator that sat on the table with various other erotic objects.

'Don't mind me' Connie murmured, her attention turned entirely on the vibrator as Mickie and Donna dissolved into helpless giggles and Zubin rolled his eyes in the manner of someone dealing with a troublesome child 'I'm just trying to think who this reminds me of'

'I'll tell you one thing' Chrissie intoned as Zubin muttered something that sounded a lot like "oh please, no" 'It isn't Michael'

'Oh no, I'm not thinking of Michael' she winked at Ric who slid lower into his seat and covered his face with his hands.

'Nothing to be ashamed of mate' Zubin spoke in a slightly strangled voice, almost entirely drowned out by Donna's crows of laughter.

'This is more like Michael' Connie finished triumphantly, selecting a much smaller vibrator and holding it out to the room 'Right, we've covered vibrators, what's next? The karma sutra?'

'This course isn't designed to improve your… prowess'

'I'll have you know my _prowess_ needs no improvement thank you' Connie snapped, returning to her seat and folding her arms across her chest angrily 'And nor, for that matter, do certain other people in this room… Ric, you've gone bright red'

'I wonder why' Zubin drawled dryly, reaching for the carafe of water on the table in front of them and pouring a glass of water for Donna whose hysterics had given way to amused hiccups.

'Lets begin' Delilah spoke through gritted teeth and finally Connie remained silent, only expressing her pleasure in the other woman's irritation through a malicious smile spreading across her face.

'Thank God its over' Zubin announced vehemently, the sound of his chair being pushed back echoed by the sound of five more 'it did drag on a bit'

'Seven hours' Chrissie agreed, following Connie from the hall, noting how the other woman had already made a beeline for the one bottle of wine bestowed upon them in a moment of uncharacteristic generosity from Michael 'I thought I was going to die of boredom'

'Ours I think' Zubin relieved Connie of the bottle with a deft swipe of his hand, ignoring her indignant cries of protest 'think of it as penance for drinking all my Scotch yesterday'

'You shouldn't have had it in the first place' Connie retorted crossly, snatching back the bottle of wine and wrestling in vain with the cork.

'But you certainly shouldn't have taken it. Some might call that theft' he replied self-righteously as he took the bottle once more, popping the cork with a satisfying noise.

'Some might call it stupidity on your part for leaving it where I could find it' came the reply as she swiftly removed the glass of wine that he had poured and downed it in one large mouthful 'Anyway, my need is greater than yours'

'How did you work that out? I'd have thought you'd have sworn off alcohol for life after the hangover you had this morning' he added smugly, pouring a second glass and downing it before she had a chance to take it from him.

'Hair of the dog' she snarled irately 'anyway, you're the only person who didn't get drunk last night'

'Not bad for a place where alcohol is expressly forbidden' Delilah's voice cut though the conversation and she took the wine from a dumbfounded Zubin 'I want you all bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow and Archie really shouldn't have smuggled this in for you, regardless of what your boss told him'

'Is that wine I see?' Donna appeared over Zubin's shoulder, Mickie popping up behind Connie, both of them eying the bottle of wine keenly

'Apparently its just a mirage' Connie snarled with disgust 'If this is all that's going on in this Godforsaken dump, I'm going to bed'

'Me too' Ric added, rubbing his still slightly tender head and eyeing the bottle of wine that he hadn't tasted a drop of mournfully

'Well, isn't tonight just looking up' Connie smiled flirtatiously as a flush spread up Ric's face and Mickie and Donna dissolved once again into high pitched giggles.

'My own bed'

'Spoilsport' Connie admonished gently, tracing one finger down his chest seductively 'you know, I'm sure I'll be a better bed mate than Professor Kahn'

Once in bed she tossed and turned irately, planning all manner of unpleasant repercussions for her husband upon her return home. Not only was she stuck in a monastery with more rules, laws and bylaws than your average country but she had been turned down. By Ric Griffin, a man reputed to propose to every woman who spoke to him and yet when Connie had offered it to him on a plate, having earlier paid him what she considered to be the highest compliment it was possible to bestow upon a man, he turned her down flat. One thing was for sure – when they got back to Holby, she would make Ric Griffin regret his actions, but for today she had a more pressing concern. Contact with Michael had been a little thin on the ground of late and it had been a record amount of time since the last time she had slept with a man. That, combined with an afternoon discussing the finer points of sexual education had left her so turned on that Zubin was starting to seem like a good idea. In the knowledge that Ric had turned her down and Zubin would merely laugh at the very suggestion of sleeping with her, she contemplated breaking into the seminar room and stealing the rather large toy she had been examining earlier in the day but a noise outside the door stopped her.

'Are you awake?' a familiar voice hissed and she opened her eyes, eying him with curiosity.

'I am now. Are you drunk?' she replied suspiciously as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

'Chance would be a fine thing' he laughed quietly 'I felt a little bad about what happened earlier. Perhaps I could make it up to you'


	8. Chapter 7 A Additonal carry on

'How would that be Mr Griffin?' she giggled in response, sitting up abruptly on the stiff medieval bed.

'Oh come on,' Ric replied pulling back the covers.

'Arrgh its cold in here,' Connie complained as he snaked her arms around her.

'What are you wearing exactly?'

'Coco Mademoiselle,' she smirked, relaxing into his embrace, feeling for the clasp on his worn trousers, yet not doing anything more than resting her hand on them. He pulled her head close up to hers so they were literally an inch apart. Brushing her lips he felt them fizz, stinging the passion between them, evidentially Delilah had been having some effect on them, it seemed different, stronger.

'Perhaps she has her uses,' Ric smirked as they pulled apart, his shirt being lost in the heat of the moment, she could feel his every muscle twitch in excitement as the buttons were teased apart, his hands gently clasped her backside, squeezing them gently, her legs straddling across his middle, the bare beauty of her back playing softly in the wind. She sat for a moment, letting him writhe under her butterfly kisses platonic down his neck, chest, abdomen, she slid down him slightly letting him slip inside her, immediately flicking about passionately, she could slowly feel all her angst and displeasure in him dissipate, trickle away as he went deeper. They rolled over, she tall over him, controlling the action, this was where size did count and where she got far more mileage for her money. Not that she was paying, Michael was.

Suddenly, without warning the door thrust open, a slightly inebriated Chrissie trundled in, walking back out grumbling 'wrong room, sorry' stifling a laugh Connie rolled off Ric, the one downside to not sharing a room, or possessing a lock for that matter was somewhat irritating.

'Ooops,' Connie giggled as she pulled the bedclothes further up whilst Ric fumbled around for various items of clothing.

'What the hell,' came the same tipsy voice as Chrissie returned to the room, staring black eyed at her two superiors, one undoubtedly naked and the other trying his dam hardest to cover it up.

'For God's sake Chrissie, we're in the middle of something, Professor Khan's got a spare bed going,' Connie smirked, flopping dramatically onto the bed pulling Ric over her.

'Its like a revolving door in here sometimes,' she complained as Ric left her shirt open, trapping her under his prowess, her arms above his as she writhed coyly underneath him, brushing his skin with her delicate breathing, he let his grip tighten slightly, moving to hold her hands as they locked gazes for a moment, only an instant that their eyeballs met together, locking together. Lips brushing against lips felt good, tasting the faint trace of wine mingling between them. Moving off down her neck he could feel her soft satin skins slink under the kisses he was berating on her.

'You know these can't go entirely to waste,' Connie winked, producing a set of the handcuffs they'd been tied up with earlier that day. She'd often fancied on the idea of using them in the past, fluffy, pink, hard or silver they possessed some form of magical power, the ability to make sex that much more interesting and amusing.

'I'm sure they have their uses,' he replied, gently teasing them away from her palm, slightly smirking as he opened the clasp letting them fall sharply backwards. Lifting her right hand above her head he was aware of her muscles tightening and relaxing in a buzz of excitement. As he locked her second arm in place he felt an odd sort of karma cross him, it felt odd to hold control over such a domineering woman, good, kinky and awful at the same time. He neatly folded the covers back against her naked body, revealing her sat perfectly still, poised ready for action, he let his gaze fall onto her erect nipples, peaking on her tempestuously perfect bosoms. His mouth cupped one, licking it soft then letting it spring in return almost instantly, followed by a groan, a mutter of excitement. Slowly his lips slipped down to her taught abdomen, snaking kisses in a figure of eight round her belly button, scooping up her flesh in tiny mounds, kissing in back in to place. Finally his lips hit the covers, piling up against her core, as he slowly pulled them back he could sense the goose pimples forming the surface of her skin, irresistible to his touch. He lifted her legs apart, fighting the urge to move any quicker, she was quite literally dripping with excitement. Perfect unad

ulterated bliss. He could feel himself becoming even more aroused as he straddled her, letting his hands wander and grope her damp thighs, sliding into her he automatically started an involuntary flicking motion, sending her to screaming ecstasy as she lay there unable to move bar the rattling of the handcuffs. It felt good, more than that, absolutely amazing, surpassing any idea's she'd created. Going deeper felt far too evocative, uncontrollable, losing the prowess to maintain control, equilibrium tilting completely out of sync, her ability to release excess energy hemmed in by the metallic barriers, if she could she'd grasp him closer, ensure that her tact wouldn't be lost, that she'd get her fill then some, the desire felt good.

He let the covers drape off her legs so she alone, isolated, sliding out of penetration he lent back, admiring her beauty, someone as naked as the day they were born who looked as good as she did was a treasure trove, like Aladdin's gold, priceless yet valued, worthless yet magically meaningful, totally absorbing to read and fantasise about, yet irrationally the same in the real life, a work of art. Writhing in front of him it was like watching a masterpiece at work, living, breathing, creating. It reminded him somewhat of a lioness stretching out in the savannah, graciously beautiful yet magically intriguing too. She was biting her lip in transient anticipation, waiting for when he'd give her more or when she'd be allowed a release to return all he'd taken. It was an odd sort of limbo to exist in one powerful and dominant over the other yet somehow appearing to be in submission. Boxing with a lion was never a good tact to take, arguing with the petulant child inane and stupidly pointless.


End file.
